A: My husband is in prsion for downloading child porn . federal offense. When he gets out, we need to move somewhere where we can get a place to live and he can get a job . we were going to move to Florida with his family, but Florida has no place for him to live (except under the causeways I guess) So I have been trying to research, but I have found nowhere that looks safe and will allow us to get on with our lives.Would you have any suggestions? Is this an impossible task?Thank you, M
A: Yarn, what you are saying and where you are cnimog from is exactly what I needed when I was going thru all of that. Your loved one is in a state of survival right now, he's probably thinking he is the lowest thing on earth and that he has ruined his life and everyone's around him. I know I felt that way. You need to let him know that he is valued and that he is NOT the lowest thing on earth. He made a mistake, and if he faces up to it he will be able to heal and possibly do like Joe is doing here, help others through his experience. He needs to know that you love him and care, and that is very evident from your words on this post. You are both in for a very rough and rocky road, but it is managable, as long as he has someone who believes in him. My mother was a rock for me, I even lashed out at her several times but she never turned her back on me, never made me feel like what most of society makes a sex offender feel like. I did four years in prison, four years where I didn't have any visits at all, and I've been out on probation for two and a half years and I am just now feeling like there is a life for me again, without my mother and several of my friends strong support, I would have never made it. Many of the sex offenders I was in prison with lost everything, including their family and friends. Those guys didn't fare so well. The gremlins smell that kind of weakness. So, my advice is to just stand beside him and give him hope, don't minimize what he did, but don't make him think he is only a sex offender, I am sure he has many strong attributes, dwell on those. He is a person who committed a sex crime, not a sex-offender. Sex offender is society's label, don't give in to it. Don't let him become the sex offender, help him be the man you know and love. I hope that helps.RonWell-loved.
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